I grew up in the former Soviet Union, and how we expressed ourselves and behaved could be fatal if you didn’t do what you were ordered to do. I got used to being alert with fear and only talking about what was “legal” to express. I learned to lie, and so did the others. I learned not to trust people or the government and to obey in order to survive. Of course, this was not the complete picture of my childhood. At the same time, I was living with my family in the countryside, spending lots of time with my sisters, discovering nature, and challenging ourselves by building treehouses. And I was loved, even though nobody expressed it.

In August 1991, Estonia regained its independence, and suddenly everything changed. The borders opened, people started building up the economy, and a sort of race to get rich began. The main focus was on growing wealth, sustainability, and ensuring the security of independence. So did I. I went with the flow.

I have been thinking that I’m good at communication and didn’t realize for a long time that the way I communicated very often didn’t serve my connections. I had learned to speak in "jackal language" and was rather good at using it.

In 2018, while traveling in Japan, I heard about NVC for the first time and didn’t pay much attention to it at the time. Half a year later, I got into many conflicts with close people, and I decided to look into NVC to see if it might help. I first listened to as many videos as possible and then read Marshall’s book The Language of Life. It wasn’t easy reading at first, but it gave me some ideas, and I tested the model by looking back at some conflicts. And suddenly, I got it! It’s all about needs! Growing up, nobody had asked me what my needs were, so I didn’t even realize I had any.

In 2019, I attended my first IIT and was hooked. I wanted to know more about NVC, and I wanted to integrate it fully into my life. Step by step, my connections with my loved ones started to change as I was able to listen to them with empathy, sometimes, and I became more conscious of how I was expressing myself. The biggest revelation was understanding what I could take responsibility for and what I could not take responsibility for. I stopped blaming others and myself, and this brought more clarity and peace into my life.

I started sharing NVC in 2020, first with my close ones, at work, and with my friends. I realized I liked sharing NVC, and people actually got touched and asked me to teach them NVC. In my past, I had been a dance teacher, so teaching was “my thing.”

On January 1st, 2022, I got the candidate certification status, and I felt a bit overwhelmed by the requirements. There were no certified trainers or assessors in Estonia, so I asked, "What next?" I connected with the international community, searched for assessors in Germany, found trainings in Europe, and connected to online groups of candidates, among other things. It was doable, even though I didn’t see how at the beginning. I’m so thankful to the NVC worldwide community!

By the end of 2024, I became a certified NVC trainer. Understanding how much my childhood and education had affected the quality of my life as a grownup, I felt a strong invitation to share NVC in education, kindergartens, and schools. Now, primary education is one of my NVC work fields, including kindergartens, school teachers, and parents.

I also share and give training in business, as I have 23 years of experience in the IT business, from bottom to top. In 2020, I took a training in Restorative Justice conflict mediation and have since been acting as a volunteer conflict mediator under the Ministry of Social Affairs.