![Ruth Wafler Portrait](/templates/yootheme/cache/18/Ruth-Wafler-1886c71d.jpeg)
Ruth Wafler
I work as a primary school teacher in a diverse class in which socially and emotionally disadvantaged and well-supported children from families with a wide variety of backgrounds learn together. In this heterogeneity, forming a community where everyone feels safe and welcome is a daily challenge. Nonviolent Communication helps me with this. I am so grateful that I am now finding ways to see everyone and support parents and children in becoming a community. I can help all children to develop their potential and their very special strengths.
In my life with my family: The giraffe sits at our table. It helps me remember that everything we do meets a need. My 15-year-old son keeps choosing strategies that challenge or trigger me. Again and again, I see my topics consciously so I can develop and find out what I really want. The most important thing for me is to stay connected, no matter how high the waves are; I can practice that with him so often.
Giving my 9 year-old foster daughter security and love and, at the same time, giving her the guidance she needs is something I can bring to awareness and reflect on again and again with Nonviolent Communication. Especially the contact with her biological parents, who are unfortunately mentally ill and traumatized, challenges me. I see their great pain and their needs and, at the same time, the needs of my foster daughter and our family, and we have a strong need for protection and security. I am so grateful that I can feel deep empathy for her parents and at the same time, apply protective power.
For my need for personal freedom and autonomy, I used to choose the strategy of living in open relationships. I've only been in a monogamous relationship for three years. (How lucky that my companion also loves and lives the NVC!) Sensing my needs and making courageous, honest requests is an adventure and a great field of learning for me, as am always taking full responsibility for my needs and letting him take responsibility for his needs as well. Above all, however, I have discovered that I find the freedom I seek within myself by accepting myself and letting myself be as I am.
As an NVC trainer, I also work with people (often educators) who do not do NVC training voluntarily. I am also grateful to be able to work with these people who are skeptical of NVC. Adapting to them and feeling in the moment what they need and how I can reach them so that a connection is created between us challenges me, and I find it exciting.
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TRAINING FOCUS:
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- Parenting & Family