Trainer: Compassionate Communication & Spiritual Practice at Great Vow Zen Monastery

My name is Elia Paz Lowe-Chardé. I founded Wise Heart with a mission to help make a shift in consciousness about how we relate to life. I dream of a world in which we value and trust the quality of connection with ourselves and others as the primary way to build and maintain a thriving life for all. I dream of a world in which becoming a master of relationship is a central value in our global culture. 

Wise Heart seeks to join with others who support this shift in consciousness that will help us create a sustainable and thriving life for all.

This passion to create change and transformation started with my family of origin. It was as rich with love as it was with loud arguments, explosions of anger, fear, and chaos. Growing up with a heart full of love and a mind wrought with confusion, I was highly motivated to find clarity and create the life of beauty and joy I knew was possible.

Ever since I can remember I have devoted myself to this search for clarity. At age six I had a vision of living in a monastery. At age eleven I started reading books on the life of the Buddha, the New Testament, the teachings of Don Juan, quantum physics, and whatever else I could find.

This quest continued through adolescence and young adulthood and led to a bachelor’s degree in psychology and a graduate degree in school psychology (Ed.S.). I then began work in public schools as a school psychologist.  In addition to nine years in public schools, I spent several years facilitating group healing work for adolescent youth labeled “at-risk”. During that same time, I led leadership and teamwork trainings for businesses and organizations around Portland.

Along the way I found Compassionate/Nonviolent Communication (NVC) and began training with Marshall Rosenberg and other internationally known NVC trainers. I immediately knew that Compassionate Communication was the missing piece. It offers a deep and broad yet simple understanding of human nature along with a concrete set of tools to help us act and live from a place of clarity and compassion. For me Compassionate Communication is the hands and feet of spirituality. In 2006, I was certified as a NVC trainer. 

In 2002 I realized that my work in the schools and with youth had reached its end. I left my position as a school psychologist and spent a year living in Great Vow Zen Monastery. Here I was able to do much healing work and deeply integrate NVC into my internal dialogue. Now the inner voice of compassion arises as habitually as the old voices of self-criticism and judgment did in the past. I have continued a dedicated practice to meditation and mindfulness at Dharma Rain Zen Center where I am an active member today and my husband is the abbot.

Upon leaving the monastery in 2003, I began teaching and training full time. I founded Wise Heart in 2007. I then pursued three years of training with M.E.T.A. - Mindful Experiential Therapeutic Approaches. Training with M.E.T.A. included a primary focus on Hakomi (body centered therapy) and shorter trainings on dynamics of attachment, trauma modalities, Recreation of the Self, group process, and character theory. Shortly thereafter, I completed introductory trainings in Emotionally Focused Therapy and with the Gottman Institute.

Over 20 years of training and experience have led to the articulation of a system that integrates Mindfulness, Hakomi, and NVC called Mindful Compassionate Dialogue. I am enormously grateful to the very many teachers and mentors I have had along the way and the enormous work others have done over many decades that have served our understanding of what it means to heal and live a fulfilling life.

I currently live and work in Portland, Oregon. I feel continually blessed to be living in the great northwest where the lushness of nature is all around.  I am happily supported here by my partner and loving community of friends and colleagues.